This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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