Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
