Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
