the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm too high and old for this...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
