perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
either way he was missing a nipple.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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