I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
