What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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