yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
