Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
