Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
