At least make sure they are 18
Why
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
And then he peed in my hair
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