Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
