you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Randomize
