I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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