New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
