You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
