i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
