Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
