PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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