Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
