therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
