just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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