Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
