The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
