Who wears a wallet chain?!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
