we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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