I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he puts the penis in happiness.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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