week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
