Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
