No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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