I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
