My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just made out with a guy for $7.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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