I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
