butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I need to calm my uterus...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
