how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
