am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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