oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
false alarm. still invincible.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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