I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
