Ambien. No doubt about it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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