The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
