Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
