help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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