I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So. Much. Porn.
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