Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
