apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
