I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
