wat bout pragnant strippers??
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize