rhymes with "ouble enetration"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
