oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize