I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
