Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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