Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
