What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Life is so much better after having sex.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
