i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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