Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
