from now on my penis is your penis
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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