I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she smelled like a LAN party
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize