Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
