Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
