i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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