I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
