I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
