I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
