Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
