What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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