your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
