i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize