dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
